The Nanny characters, ranked

And yes, this is definitive

The Nanny is far from “moderately popular”—it’s got six seasons! It’s on syndication! There is some talk of a reboot! Posts about it on tumblr reach notes of up to the hundred thousands! But in my heart, it’s still circa 2009 on the previously-mentioned microblogging hellsite and I’m the only person creating Nanny gifs, all for my own pleasure and delight.

This show has been hella formative for me, whether it’s ship-wise or fan fiction-wise or favourite fictional lady-wise (for reference, it’s icy cold blonde bitches who are secretly  soft and just want to be loved!). It’s also the show where I first learned the very specifically gay art of being able to tell what episode it is based on my favourite actress’ hair.

In the future, I can see a thousand-word homage to C.C. Babcock and C.C. Babcock alone, but for now, here is a ranking of The Nanny regulars, adapted from a li.st list of mine. Please email agreements and disagreements to moderatelypopular@gmail.com!

C.C. Babcock obviously comes in at number one. I wasn’t sure if I should format this from #8 to #1 or the other way around, but I wanted to talk about my darling girl first an foremost, so: the beautiful blonde bitch of Broadway, had rapier wit, was on all accounts a better producer than Maxwell and should have been president of their company.

Fran Fine was sweet and soft and earnest, had fantastic outfits every episode, genuinely cared for the children, was personally sent by Actual Angel Sara Sheffield to the Sheffield household, so she’s the second best character.

Niles. Kept the damn household running. That’s all I’m gonna say.

Grace Sheffield is the most important Sheffield kid. Smart and precocious, definitely C.C.’s secret fave.

Brighton Sheffield, also known as Schlomo. The kid with the Most Chill. Once dated C.C. Babcock on the Internet. I love how he interacted with the Jewishness of his nanny + future stepmom + future family because it’s so sweet and I just feel so fond thinking about him and Yetta going to the movies together.

Maxwell Sheffield. Plus points for being staunchly anti-Andrew Lloyd Webber, points taken away for being kind of dumb. A doofus overall, but kind and caring. He just wants to be a good dad.

Sylvia, Val, Yetta. A good support system for Fran. I would die for Brighton and Yetta’s relationship, as I’ve mentioned.

Maggie Sheffield is kind of the worst. Contributed nothing, went to the wrong side of the line during the curtain call at the last Nanny taping (okay, I know that was Nicholle Tom but I’m still mad about it).

Kthxbyeeeee!